I don't think I was meant for the 21st century. Ever since I was a child, I have always been attracted to things of the past. Stuff with a little history. Places with character. I can spend hours in antique stores, just looking and imagining and dreaming. I love museums and musty basements, built-ins and breakfast nooks, vintage postcards, forgotten letters, and dusty National Geographic magazines.
My fascination with the past has also permeated my world-view. I have a great reverence and a certain amount of awe for that which came before me, and for those that laid the foundation on which I now stand. I am constantly aware that my existence is only a link in an extraordinarily long chain. And I very often find myself wishing that "the way things used to be" were "the way things still are."
I appreciate a slower pace of life. I prefer speaking with people one on one and face to face. I am humbled by the thoughtfulness and time invested in a hand written letter. I love it when my kids make creative use out of last night's pizza box, or choose to spend the morning writing stories rather than watching television. I enjoy family walks on a Saturday morning and I cherish the community that a small, traditional, multi-generational church family provides. I feel like many of these simple things have been devalued in the name of "progress," yet these are the things that fill my soul.
Don't get me wrong, I love my straight iron as much the next girl, and I am extremely thankful for dishwashers, the Civil Rights movement, my hard-won ability to vote, and the polio vaccine. Technology isn't all bad, either. I have a cell phone, a digital camera and a laptop. And as a stay-at-home mom in a new city, email, blogging, facebook, and Pinterest have been my portal to the outside world. In many ways "progress" has made our lives a little more interesting, and a whole lot more convenient. I can admit it.
But how much is too much?
And does convenience fill the soul?
And is being connected becoming more important than the connection?
These questions challenge me daily. Because I don't want Facebook friendships to replace face to face friendships. I don't want to spend the day pin surfing when I could be doing. I don't want to confuse busy-ness for real, honest-to-goodness, deep down in your being fulfillment. You have to be more savvy these days because culture tends to advertise the two as one and the same.
The way things used to be. I kind of remember those days. Or at least I remember reading about those days. I remember hearing about those days. And I want to remember. I want to remember to be quiet sometimes, so I am able to hear what is authentic within me. I want to remember how to wait, so I don't forget my very vulnerable and inferior place in this universe. And I want to remember to simplify, so what is truly important isn't swallowed up by what isn't. I want to remember, and in remembering and honoring the past, somehow enrich the present.
***The irony that I am writing this in cyberspace and posting it on facebook for all of my virtual friends, and that I am doing so while my husband sits next to me and plays video games is not lost on me. Oh, and did I mention that I wrote part of this post while I anesthetized my four year old with Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so I could concentrate? Really and truly, this is an ideal, and one I do strive for, though sometimes I do not succeed. Such as in the writing of this blog post.
